A Plot for Romance
by GlitterBaby2.0
Summary: What if someone set Sakura up in the name of romance? This is the story of what would happen. Sonfic for 'My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas. Oneshot! Lemon!


'Can't believe she made me DO this,' Sakura thought angrily. 'I look like the slut of the century!'

~FLASHBACK~  
>"S-Sakura," a flushed faced Hinata called.<p>

"Hey Hinata! What's up," Sakura asked as the long haired ninja struggled to catch her breath.

"Lady Tsunade wishes to see you i-immediately."

'Shoot,' thought Hinata, 'almost didn't stutter!'

"Ok, thanks Hinata!"

As Sakura ran off she could only imagine what could be so important that her mistress summoned her so quickly.

'Maybe there's news about Naruto! That would be great!'

Over the past two years since Naruto had left with Jiraya, she had realized how fond she was of the orange wearing blonde.

'Oh well. Guess I'll know soon enough!'

*knock knock*

"Enter," came Tsunade's voice.

As Sakura entered, Tsunade stood from behind her desk.

"Yes ma'am?"

Tsunade stayed silent, looking Sakura over for a while.

"Lady Tsunade, I don't mean to be rude, but your making me uncomfortable..."

"Sakura Haruno! I have an A- rank mission for you! Will you accept it," Tsunade asked, almost commanding making Sakura believe she had little other choice.

"Yes ma'am," Sakura said, standing at full attention to receive the mission.

'Wait. _WHY DIDN'T I ASK FOR THE MISSION FIRST?_,' thought the very embarassed pink hair kunoichi.  
>'Oh, well, too late now!'<p>

"-mission will be," Tsunade said, whipping Sakura out of her reverie.

~END FLASHBACK~

And that's how Sakura ended up looking like the slut of the century. Her mission, if it can be called that, was to meet Kabuto Yakushi in a club and seduce him. He was to follow her out and allow her to lead him to her home, where an ambush would be waiting.

"The safety of this village relies solely on the outcome of this mission," Tsunade said, "Do anything you have to do."

So now, here was Sakura wearing an ultra skinny skinny-jeans, a backless halter-top that fit snugly around her chest and exposed her flat stomach, and two and a half-inch high heels that only made the micro-mini look even minier. She was unrecognizable.

'I don't know what to do! All these guys are staring at me!'

It was true of course. Word around the club spread like wildfire. Soon, almost every guy had taken notice of Sakura.

However, it was the complete opposite with most of the females. Some gave her flirty smiles while others gave her death glares, begging her to even DARE take a fraction of a step in the direction of their boyfriends.

'Okay Sakura, look cool. Sip your beer and sway with the rhythm.'

Soon Sakura had her own little routine down and could analyze the room for Kabuto at the same time. Suddenly, she found him. He wore jeans and black button down. Typical male club attire.

'Showtime,' Sakura thought.

She walked over to where Kabuto was and was a about 12 feet away when she had a thought.

What do I do?,' thought the bewildered ninja.

At that moment, the song "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas started to play.

'Hmm... That could help.'

Swaying with the beat of the music for Will. I. Am.'s part, she got closer to Kabuto and sang along with Fergie.

"**Imma get get get get you drunk, get you love drunk off my hump.**  
><strong>My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. Check it out.<strong>  
><strong>I drive these brothas' crazy, I do it on the daily. They treat me really nicely, they buy me all these icees. Dolce and Gabana, Findi and that Dana. Karan they be sharin' all they money, got me wearing fly. Brotha' I ain't askin', they say they love my asset. Seven jeans, True Religion; I say no, but they keep givin'. So I keep on takin', and no, I ain't taken. We can keep on datin'. I'll keep on demonstration' my love. My love, my love, my love. You love my lady lumps.<strong>"

Aa Sakura swayed, she winked at Kabuto, she silently asking him to join in. Stunned for only a moment, he got ahold of himself and started the next verse.

"**Whatcha gon' do with all that junk, all that junk inside that trunk?**"

Smiling, Sakura replied, "**Imma get-get-get-get you drunk, get you love-drunk off my hump."**

"**Whatcha gon' do with all that ass, all that ass inside them jeans?**"

"**Imma make-make-make make you scream. Make you scream.**"

Sakura couldn't resist adding a flirty smile after this, letting him know fully well what she meant. She wouldn't admit it to anybody, but she was having a LOT of fun.

"**My hump, my hump, my hump. My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps, check it out.**"

By that point, Sakura had accomplished gaining Kabuto's full attention. Luckily for her, Kabuto wanted to play along. He turned and started to dance with her as he sang the bridge.

"**I met a girl down at the disco. She said 'Hey-hey-hey let's go.' **  
><strong>I can be your baby you can my mommy. Let's spend time not money and mix your milk with my coco puff. Milky, milky coco. Mix your milk with my coco puff. Milky, milky, right.<strong>"

Smiling and ever-so-smoothly moving toward the back door, Sakura responded with;

"**They say I'm really sexy, the boys they wanna sex me. They always standin' next to me; always dancin' next to me. Tryin' to feel my hump, hump. Lookin' at my lump, lump. You can look but you can't touch it. If you touch it, if you touch it imma start some drama. You don't want no drama. No, no drama. No, no, no, no, drama.**"

Before Sakura knew it, there was a short, slimy looking man behind her.

"**-don't pull on my hand boy. You ain't my man boy. I'm just tryin' to dance boy. And move my hump.**"

While truning back to Kabuto, she sang,"**My hump. My hump, my hump, my hump. My hump, my hump, my hump. My lovely lady lumps. My lovely lady lumps. My lovely lady lumps, in the back and in the front. My lovin' got you-"**

"**She's got me spendin'**," Kabuto broke in.

"**Spendin' all your money on me, and spending time on me'**," Sakura sang back in her flirtiest singing voice.

"**She's got me spendin'-**"

"**Spendin' all your money on me, on-on me, on me.**"

Now that they were outside of the club, and about a block from Sakura's house, Kabuto grew tired of the foreplay and skipped to the end of the song.

Grabbing hold of Sakura's waist, he breathed,"**Whatcha gon' do with all that breast, all that breast inside yo' shirt?**"

Holding up her head so that they're foreheads touched and unlocking her door, she breathed,"**Imma make-make-make make you work. Make you work-work, make you work.**"

**_BEWARE OF LEMON!_**

That did it. Those last, passion laced words did it. Kabuto snapped. Picking her with lightning-fast speed, he launched her against a wall. From there he started ravaging Sakura's neck, drawing loud gasps and moans from her.

"K-kabuto," she half gasped, half moaned out. "M-my bedroom! First door on the right." Sakura rushed out before her mouth was caught in a firey hot kiss. She didn't even hesitate in giving him entrance; she wanted it, too!

Before Sakura knew it there were plush sheets under her and her shirt was being ripped to shreds. She shuddered in ecstasy and lust as her chest met the cool open air.

Kabuto took no time at all to attack her breasts. He had her moaning out his name and begging for more not even a minute into his ministrations. This fact had Kabuto smirking as he reached behind her and unbuttoned her skirt.

Sakura gasped as she realized that all the had left were her dripping wet underwear.

'That's not fair'" Sakura thought deviously, 'I should have some fun, too!'

Starting to take control of things, Sakura quickly flipped them over so that she was on top. She quickly grabbed he hem of his shirt and yanked it over his head. Before he tried to get control again, Sakura kissed him, silencing his growl.

Smirking through the kiss, she moved toward his neck and quickly started nipping and tugging at the tender flesh.

Kabuto could do nothing but growl her teasing. Trying to regain control, he sat up.

This was a mistake.

Sitting up so suddenly caused Sakura to jump, causing her to slip and making her face land on his crotch... And his most private body part.

"Mmmmm...," Kabuto moaned at the sudden pressure on his excruciatingly hard member.

This gave our favorite pink-haired kunoichi and idea.

After slowly pushing Kabuto back, she unbuttoned his jeans. Then, antagonizingly slow, unzipped his jeans.

With her teeth.

Sakura couldn't help but smile as she heard Kabuto's groan and felt him writhe in agony below her.

'Well, if that's the way you want it, then let the games begin," Sakura thought, quoting a line from "The Parent Trap."

Yanking his jeans off with his boxers, she immediately deep-throated him.

"_AHHH!_," Kabuto nearly screamed. He couldn't believe it. This girl was GIFTED! She fit his entire length in her mouth, including his balls! That was no joke considering the size of him. It was heaven.

'Its time," thought Sakura with a smirk of anticipation. Quickly, she released his member and jumped on top of him, impaling herself. She could hardly hear Kabuto's scream of pleasure over her own.

Blinking away the stars, she got uses to him fairly quickly. Bucking her hips to the left, she earned another moan of appreciation from her partner.

Taking her time, she rolled her hips in circles, which aggravated Kabuto to no end.

Tired of her erotic foreplay, he flipped them over and pounded into her.

They were both screaming as Kabuto moved at a shocking pace, Sakura wrapping her legs around him to keep up. Then, suddenly, with a loud scream of passion, they came as one.

As Sakura was coming down from her mountain of pleasure, she heard Kabuto chuckle.

"What's so funny," she asked, confused.

"I just always figured you to be the good-girl type."

"Wait! You know who I am?"

"Of course. Your hair says it all."

"Wow..."

**~Transition~**

"So, did Sakura ever accept her "mission," a very drunk Jiraya asked and equally drunk Tsunade.

"Yup. Hook, line, and sinker," Tsunade replied, smiling.  
>"It's about time she got a man."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Yay! Ok this is my first M-rated fanfic. I think I did a good job :) Also, I know that I didn't do the whole "My Humps" song. And no Sakura bashing was intended! <strong>

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the song "My Humps."**


End file.
